BREAKING Apple Awards Themselves “Best iPhone of the Year Award” For iPhone X

Apple’s iPhone Awards Committee has just awarded the newly released iPhone X the 2017 Best iPhone of the Year Award.

“We felt there was an obvious winner here,” explained iPAC chairman Kim Took. “When we looked at the other candidates, we saw 3-year-old designs that were starting to look dated - I think the decision was almost unanimous.”

Took went on to compare it to previous winners. “When you look at the processor on this thing, it’s 3 times faster than the Best iPhone of the Year Award winner in 2012. It’s amazing… I’d even go as far to say it’s the best iPhone yet.”

Previous winners of this award include the iPhone 7 in 2016, the iPhone 6S in 2015, and the iPhone 6 in 2014.

Apple was overjoyed to recieve this award. “We’ve been hard at work designing this next-generation iPhone,” designer Jony Ive said. “I’m glad we finally got around to creating this new design - the Ctrl, C and V keys on our keyboards kept wearing out from overuse each year. We had to keep buying new keyboards, which was cost-inefficient.”

Took was glad too. “This year, we were seriously considering giving the award to a Chinese iPhone clone because of how boring the iPhone 8 was,” he told Nonfree News. “Thank god for that ‘One more thing’.”


xn--cr8h is a full stack web engineer. According to him, no project is complete without a node_modules folder of over 1GB. His main workstation has 256GB of RAM, like most PCs these days.